The New Job
by snapefan520
Summary: One of the greatest wizards, banished. And this is where he ended up. Humorous, a bit tongue-in-cheek, and based off several now-famous internet photos. Rated T just for language.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Notes: I'm finally back! It took a neat little prompt from Tyche Song to motivate me. Hopefully this is one of several drabble/one shots to come. This should be very familiar to those who've seen pictures of our favorite professor working recently. If not, google it. :D And of course, anything you recognize belongs to the fabulous JKR.

* * *

It was pathetic, really.

One of the most powerful wizards reduced to this. Sighing loudly, he stared at the Muggle contraption in front of him. It beeped at him mockingly.

He survived a snake bite, saved the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Him, and the wizarding world, for fuck's sake. Yet, here he was, an ocean away, banished, because of two words uttered at the bequest of one of his former masters. The supposedly 'good' one.

Looking back up once again, he tersely smiled at the muggles in front of him.

"Here are your boarding passes, have a nice day."


	2. Chapter 2

So... I lied. This isn't a one-shot drabble... it will be a series of related drabbles. Here is number 2... enjoy!

* * *

This new life was hell.

Actually, hell was an understatement.

No magic and not nearly enough quiet; nattering coworkers that just did not know when to shut up. _Well, in retrospect, his last coworkers were quite similar..._

But today, today was an exception.

"Once again... may I help you?" He enunciated each word slowly, knowing he had her wrong-footed.

She just stood there, mouth agape. Several times she opened her mouth, shutting it quickly when she realized she was at a loss for words.

The hand-waving know-it-all, _at a loss for words_.

Silence.

It was glorious.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Notes:** Here is installment number 3 of Tyche's drabble challenge. The prompt today was **contract**... and this turned out a bit more angsty than I had planned. Enjoy!

* * *

His hands shook slightly as he grabbed the pen.

It was just a contract, for fuck's sake. But it still brought up unpleasant memories of unbreakable vows. _He shuddered at that thought._

Still, the thought of signing his name, even the _nom de plume_ he was currently using, signaled the permanence of his new situation.

No magic.

No wand.

He was a wizard in name only.

Hastily scribbling his name in his familiar spiky scrawl, he pushed the contract towards the portly man seated across the desk.

"Here are your keys, Mr. Smith. Thank you for doing business with us."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:** Prompt number 4 in Tyche's drabble challenge. The prompt today was **Letter**. A bit angsty, but not too bad. Enjoy!

* * *

He once again read the letter, focusing on the first two paragraphs.

 _I thought you'd keep your promise to write. I had to practically body-bind Draco to give me your new address, not to mention show me how to use these annoying muggle stamps._

 _Your case is being reviewed once again, and again championed by Potter and friends. They are pushing hard on the Ministry to repeal your guilty verdict. I must, grudgingly, revise my opinion of that muggle-born Granger. She's like a Cerberus with a bone, and has been the most vocal of all._

He had hope.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes:** And here is day 5 of Tyche's drabble challenge. The prompt today was **Violin**. And I was tired of the angst... so here is a more light-hearted entry. Enjoy!

* * *

"And this surcharge... it's ridiculous! I've been flying with you for years and I've never been charged for this before...," the stout, toad-faced woman in front of him droned on. _Who happened to remind him of another toad-faced woman from his past._ He suppressed a shiver.

He smiled tersely as she continued, nodding at the appropriate moments. He wanted to tell her what he really thought of her; his old self definitely would've. A mental image of the world's smallest violin playing the world's saddest song popped into his head.

This was going to be a long day.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's notes: My 6th entry in Tyche's Drabble challenge. The prompt today is coffee. Enjoy!

* * *

 _Buzz... buzz... buzz_

He cracked open his bleary eyes, reaching blindly for that infernal muggle device. He silenced it by throwing it against the wall.

He needed tea. Not the watered-down piss that was sold here in bags, but genuine British tea.

He sighed. Coffee would have to do.

Another day, another dollar. Another day of hell.

He wondered how bad it would be today. What muggle would he wish he could Avada Kedavra. Well, no... not really; it wasn't that bad most days.

Then he remembered last Tuesday... and groaned.

Maybe just Avada a couple of them, then.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes:** Prompt 7 in Tyche's drabble challenge. The prompt today was **kiss**. Enjoy!

* * *

It was just an innocent kiss.

Isn't that what's supposed to happen on a first date? _First date... ha!. Is that what you even call it when your almost 40?_

He should have been thrilled.

But he felt anything but elated, in spite of it being his first date in more than 20 years.

It was all wrong, though. She was a muggle, and didn't even know the real him. Everything he told her had been a lie.

He needed a date with a witch, preferably with curly brown hair. _Where'd that thought come from?_

Gods, he needed a drink.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes:** We are now starting week 2 in Tyche's drabble challenge. The prompt today was **stars**. I have also started a second story in this drabble challenge, a Doctor Who drabble fic, if you would like to check it out. Thanks and enjoy!

* * *

He sighed as he looked up into the bright night sky.

Only the North star was visible, and even it was obscured by all the city lights.

He really missed the view from the Great Lake. On a clear night, he could see all the constellations.

He was loathe to admit it, but lately his only motivation was waiting for a letter. A letter that would free him from this half-life he had been living. A letter that would hopefully let him move back home.

Hmm... he had never really thought of Scotland as home.

But he did now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes:** Sorry this is a day late. Yesterday was a busy day, and a bit unpleasant at times. Which is reflected in the drabble for today. Sorry for the angst. The prompt (yesterday) was **snow**. Enjoy!

* * *

Damn snow.

He had finally managed to not think of Scotland for a record two weeks.

He had gotten into a routine. Work, dinner, the occasional mind-numbing drinks at a local bar, followed by sleep. Repeat.

Then it had to snow. Huge snowflakes that covered the city like a blanket. Gods, he must be cursed.

Memories of snowball fights, snowmen, and a first kiss all came flooding to the foreground.

 _Where was that damn letter?_ He flipped through the post several times, to no avail.

He grabbed his keys and slammed the door.

A drinking night, it would be.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes:** Sorry I'm late with this. I've got 3 kids and everything has been going on this week. Anyway, here is the next prompt which is **Hello**. The next drabble is done and will be up very shortly. Only 4 more drabble-chapters and this will be wrapped up. Thank you so much for reading!

* * *

He was so engrossed that he barely heard her. He finally turned his head once the voice got closer.

"Hello, May I help you?"

He wasn't sure how many times the kind-looking elderly lady had asked already, but he blushed as he realised he must have looked a bit foolish with his mouth hanging wide open.

"No... no, thanks. I'm just going to look around."

As she walked away, he once again began scanning the towering shelves of well-loved tomes.

The new job might blow, but at least there was one perk to living in a large city.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:** And here is the next prompt in Tyche's challenge. This prompt is **Flowers**. Enjoy!

* * *

Oh, hell.

Of all people, why did he have to be reminded of _her_?

Not only did she share a hideous first name with that horse-faced twit, but she was wearing the most gods-awful dress. It was covered with the biggest, ugliest flowers... and at least one size too small.

For a moment he almost wondered if it was her since it had been nearly 30 years. _How many ugly hags named Petunia could there be?_ But once she spoke in a nasally American accent, he was relieved that it couldn't be her.

Thank Circe for small miracles.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes:** This prompt is **Distrust**. Only 2 drabble-chapters to go! Thanks for reading!

* * *

He cautiously glanced back behind him. He was still being followed. Out of habit, he reached up his sleeve for the non-existent wand that used to always be there. _Damn._

He still had an intense distrust of the law, whether it be magical or muggle.

Truancy and smoking got him reprimanded several times as an adolescence, and the Ministry got him simply with guilt by association as a young adult.

So he kept his cool despite the uneasiness as the officer got closer and closer. Years as a spy had its perks.

"Excuse me, sir. You dropped your wallet."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes** : Prompt used today... **Daydream**. One more chapter in this drabble series, then I'll get back to the Doctor Who one. Thanks for reading!

* * *

It was the best daydream he had had in ages. _Then again, it was the first nap he had taken in ages._

He was slowly stirring a cauldron, carefully adding ingredients until the mixture was a perfect shade of green. He only stopped when the jingle of a bell alerted him to the customer at the counter.

 _He had his own apothecary._

 _He had his life back._

Reality started to set back in as he heard the post drop into his flat from the mail slot. The _muggle_ post in his very _muggle_ flat.

It was a letter.

THE letter.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Notes:** This is it! The last little drabble-chapter in Tyche's drabble challenge. At least for this story. I will get back to the DW one as soon as possible, but it may be a few days since I'm going to my first Con in two days. Woot! Anyway, here it is... the prompt this time was **Silliness**. Enjoy! Thank you for reading!

* * *

It had been the most curious of days.

There was a spring in his step as he positioned himself behind the service desk.

He caught himself smiling at customers... even irate, complaining customers. He had even gone so far as to whistle while he typed.

His old self would have never indulged in such silliness, but his new self had more humility and had somehow learned to be (somewhat) gracious along the way. _Who'd have ever thought it?_

But then again, it was his last day.

The New Job was about to become the Former Job.

He was going home!


End file.
